the beginning

I have cancer.


Specifically, squamous cell carcinomas in the tongue. It falls into the oral cavity/oropharyngeal cancer group.

Here are some fun tidbits about oral cavity and oropharyngeal cancers (thanks to the American Cancer Society):

• There are approximately 28,500 new cases in the US every year
• An estimated 6,100 people die from these cancers
• The average age of most people diagnosed with these cancers is 62
• About 1/3 of these cancers occur in people younger than 55
• These cancers are more than twice as common in men as in women
• About 8 out of 10 people with oral cavity and oropharyngeal cancers use tobacco
• About 7 out of 10 patients with oral cancer are heavy drinkers
• HPV (Human papilloma virus) has been linked to oral and oropharyngeal cancers

Here are some fun facts about me:

• I'm 23
• I'm a female
• I've never used tobacco
• I've never drank
• I have had the HPV vaccine

Basically, I'm a rarity in the tongue cancer world. What makes me especially rare is my lineage. My grandmother is a tongue cancer survivor. She finished up her treatment in August...of this year. If it weren't for my grandmother and my other family members (I lost 3 grandparents to cancer and my father is undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer), I may have been much worse off. I went to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist when I developed a small lesion on my tongue, simply out of paranoia. The doctor biopsied the area because of the family history; she basically said she wanted to rule it out and ease my fears. Without my family,I probably would have ignored it for a long time.

Oral cavity and oropharyngeal cancers are often found not found until Stage T4. One of my goals for this blog is to raise awareness. In Stage T1 (my stage), survival rates are much higher.

Another purpose of this blog is to chronicle my journey to getting my life back. I feel like my life is currently on 'Pause'. I can't move forward until I'm through this.

Finally, my last (and the original!) goal of this blog is to post some pictures. When I met with my surgical oncologist to discuss treatments, he recommended removing the tumor and a neck dissection to remove lymph nodes, to verify that the cancer has not spread. He said that the scar left by the selective neck dissection will be the only lasting mark of my cancer. However, I am 23 and I am slightly vain. The idea of waking up every morning to the reminder of my cancer and having to explain it terrifies me. Since my grandmother was the only person I knew who had undergone this procedure and has wrinkles to cover her scar, I did what every 23 year old in my position would do. I googled.

HUGE MISTAKE!

The images that come up for "selective neck dissection" are horrible! They sent me on a crying jag for a full day and lead to much darker thoughts of me spending my life alone, except for 13 cats. I want someone else going through this to know what to expect. So, I'm starting now, with less than three days till my surgery.